Twenty-six-year-old Benue man, Tersugh Aondona, who married three women on January 31, 2024, tells ABDULLATEEF FOWEWE the number of children he plans to have and how his father motivated him to have many wives

What motivated you to marry three wives on the same day?

I am Tersugh Aondona, a 26-year-old farmer from Jato-Aka, Kwande Local Government Area of Benue State. My main focus is rice, yam, and cassava cultivation. I am the man who married three wives on January 31, 2024. It has always been in my plan to have multiple wives, stemming from my desire for many children and the need for help on my expansive farm. Before marrying them, I explained to each of the women that I needed their assistance on my farm, which is too large for me to manage alone.

What made you decide to marry three wives on the same day?

I chose to marry them on the same day because I noticed that it was challenging to marry another woman after being married to one already. It often leads to conflicts. My brother has been facing the issue of not being able to marry another woman after marrying his wife, who always opposes the idea. I noticed that if I married them one after the other, there would be conflicts among them, which might result in enmity, and there wouldn’t be peace at home and they would hardly have cordial relationships. Therefore, I decided to marry the three of them at once to maintain peace and they agreed to have the wedding on the same day.

However, if I notice that they want to misbehave, I will remind them of the promise they made when we met, and I will ask them why they agreed to be in such a relationship from the beginning if they knew they couldn’t maintain the peace.

What were your pastor’s reactions when you told him about your plan to marry three women on the same day?

Although I had told my pastor before that I wanted to marry three wives, when I informed him about my plan to wed them on the same day, he initially thought I was joking. However, when I explained that I had found the three women and intended to marry them all on the same day, he was surprised. However, he said it was important for me to have the ability to handle and care for them, and he suggested that I should be more prayerful. He even prayed for the success of the marriage before I left his home that day. He eventually agreed with my decision and gave me full support.

Can you share your annual earnings from the farm produce?

I prefer not to disclose specific figures, but if my rice harvest doesn’t go successfully, I make a profit of N2m. However, if it does well, I can make over N5m from rice alone; meanwhile, I still have cassava and yam farms, but let me not talk about those.

How do you manage to meet your family’s needs in this challenging economy?

We don’t buy food at home; we produce everything we eat ourselves.

Are you planning to marry more wives?

Yes, I had planned to marry three more wives to make a total of six, but the three wives at home invited me to a meeting and pleaded with me not to marry another wife. They assured me that they would do whatever I needed them to do, and we came to an agreement and I aborted the plan. They have been very helpful on the farm, and they are following my instructions without question. Because of this, I have no desire to marry another wife.

What is your goal in terms of the number of children you want to have?

I don’t plan on having many children. If I have 35 children, I will be satisfied. I want to have children in various professions, including lawyers, doctors, pastors, soldiers, police officers, farmers, and more. That’s the kind of family I aim to build.

Considering the current situation in the country, do you believe Nigeria is capable of producing its food?

I am confident that Nigerian farmers are capable of producing enough food for the country. Despite the challenges, more people are working hard to support themselves, indicating the potential for increased food production. In the meantime, farming is interwoven with everything else, as even rich people are now returning to farming.

How did you meet each of your wives, and what qualities attracted you to them individually?

My first wife, who is 21 years old and hails from Taraba State, crossed paths with me in Edo State, while we were both selling our farm produce. We began the relationship, and I eventually proposed marriage to her since we both have agricultural backgrounds. I explained my desire to have three wives simultaneously and the reason behind it, and she agreed with me. My second wife, also 21, from Benue State, was introduced to me by my sister. I was delighted by the positive things my sister said about her; I approached her and she reciprocated my feelings. I disclosed my intention to have multiple wives, to which she responded that as long as I loved her, she was satisfied with it.

When I visited my friend in the Gboko Local Government Area of Benue State, I met a 23-year-old woman. I expressed my interest in her and she agreed to be with me despite my passion to marry three wives.

What criteria did you use to select your wives’ positions?

To determine the position of each wife, I gathered all three women together and asked them to choose a man who would take them home with a motorcycle; I informed them that the first person to reach my house would be the first wife, and the second person to arrive would be the second wife. We all agreed upon this criterion for positioning.

Did your wives have prior knowledge of each other before getting married to you?

No, they did not have any knowledge of each other. They knew each other during a formal introduction that I arranged before the wedding day.

How did your family react to your decision to marry three wives simultaneously?

My family embraced the idea and provided me with full support. My father, who is also an inspiration to me, has four wives and we have a large family; he (my father) has 24 children in various professions. Among us is a lawyer, a policeman, a farmer, an officer of the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, and a soldier. That is what I am trying to build as well, but I aspire to have more children than my father while maintaining a strong family unit.

What were the responses from the families of your wives?

Their parents were also aware of the situation. I explained my farming ventures and my intention to marry their daughters, and they all agreed after I met their requirements. However, I don’t recall the exact amount I spent because it was a significant amount. Nevertheless, I do remember giving my first wife’s parents N350,000, among other things. I remember giving my second wife’s parents N300,000 and some other gifts. Additionally, the amount I gave to my third wife’s parents was more than that of her colleagues, as she is better educated than the others. Her parents received almost N500,000.

What have been the main challenges you’ve encountered in maintaining harmony and balance in your marital relationships?

There is none at all. I haven’t faced any challenges; rather, I am enjoying my life, and everything is going smoothly. Even if you were to visit my house, you wouldn’t believe that they are not triplets because of the way they get along.

How do you manage disagreements or conflicts among your wives?

There haven’t been any conflicts, and I don’t think there can be any because everyone understands each other and they don’t overstep their bounds. Additionally, there is nothing for them to fight about because I have provided everything for them, and I have warned them that I do not want any conflicts among them, otherwise, I would marry another wife. There are equal rights and status among them, and there is nothing that can cause problems.

How do you manage the financial responsibilities of supporting three wives?

I am aware of their needs and always make provisions for them before they ask. For example, my third wife loves rice so much that she doesn’t feel satisfied if she doesn’t eat rice even though she has eaten every other food. If they need money, I provide it if it’s available. They all understand that I give them whatever I have, and they accept it happily.

How do you view your roles and responsibilities as a husband to three wives?

We all live together in my house, but each of them has their room. I spent one week with each of them, and after the cycle, I won’t rest; I will start again with my first wife.

Have there been any unexpected benefits or joys from having multiple wives?

As I mentioned earlier, my farm work has become easier since I married them. It’s always nice for a farmer to return from the farm and have a good time with his wives. So, I can say everything has been smooth for me since I married them. However, the first and second wives already have children, while the third one has not given birth yet, but is currently pregnant.

Did you impregnate any of your wives before getting married to them?

No, it has been a while since we completed the proper introduction, and their parents have officially handed them over to me. We just decided to hold the wedding in January.

I make a conscious effort to spend quality one-on-one time with each of them and engage in farm activities where they demonstrate a genuine interest and enjoyment. Furthermore, despite our collaborative work, I consistently express my appreciation for their contributions to the family and our relationship.

How do you manage parenting responsibilities with multiple wives?

God has always made it easy for me. However, open and honest communication plays a vital role. I am always available to them to discuss their needs and concerns. Additionally, I strive to treat them all equally.

What advice would you give to others considering entering into polygamous marriages?

Prayer is essential in whatever endeavour you want to pursue. If you are considering such a task, you must be more prayerful to avoid marrying enemies. Also, it is advisable not to consider marrying divorcees, because they will add to your problem. Another guideline is to always be honest about your situation; if you have money, let them know, and if you don’t have, be transparent about it. Up till this moment, my pastor is still assisting me with prayers.

Looking ahead, what are your hopes and aspirations for your family and relationships?

I hope to have 35 children so that I can fulfil my wish of having all professions represented in my family. For instance, I envision my first child becoming a pastor and the second becoming a doctor. I aim to give my children their chosen professions as my other wives give birth. Additionally, I aspire for my wives and me to become seasoned agriculturalists, and produce food for the nation.

PUNCH