First wife, Blessing Aondona, talks to ABDULLATEEF FOWEWE about why she shunned many wealthy suitors for her husband

What informed your decision to marry your husband on the same day as the other women?

I’m Blessing Aondona, I am 21 years old, and I hail from Taraba State. I am the first wife of Tersugh Aondona. I agreed to marry him out of love and admiration for his character. Despite having other admirers who were wealthier than him, I chose him because I believed that marrying a wealthy man might lead to abandonment later, as such men tend to enjoy their lives outside and neglect their wives at home.

How did you react upon learning that your husband was marrying two other women on the same day?

I felt a sense of excitement because I realised that with three wives, he would not have the time or inclination to cheat on us. I envisioned us building a united family together, where there would always be someone to talk to and no dull moments. When he mentioned his large farms, I was delighted at the thought of being the sole manager of the farms, knowing how demanding farm work could be. It was a joyous moment for me, and since our marriage, everything has been harmonious with no issues, and we all share a close bond.

Moreover, our home is a happy one, as we are self-sufficient in food production, and we always have every kind of food available on our farms. The transformation is obvious; within the short period of my marriage, I have even gained some weight.

Did you have the opportunity to meet or get to know the other women before the wedding?

Yes, we were introduced to each other by our husband before the wedding day.

How did you feel when you first met your fellow wives?

We were all filled with joy at the opportunity to finally meet and get to know each other, as we had been eager to know each other before that day. The day felt like a festival, and we had a wonderful time together.

What were your family’s reactions to your decision to enter into a polygamous marriage?

When I informed my family, they asked if I was content with my choice, to which I replied in the affirmative. They respected my decision and expressed their support. When I invited my husband and his family for a formal introduction, my family welcomed them warmly and promised their full support. The joy of my parents and the presence of friends and relatives made our wedding a memorable event, even attracting media attention.

How do you cultivate unity and solidarity among the wives?

We engage in activities that foster togetherness, such as sharing meals, participating in outings or celebrations, providing mutual encouragement, celebrating each others’ achievements, and collaborating on various responsibilities. These efforts help maintain and strengthen our unity.

What challenges have you encountered in adjusting to married life in a polygamous relationship?

There is none at all. We are all living happily, engaging in activities together, and sharing our thoughts and concerns. Since we don’t have friends to discuss with, we rely on each other for support and companionship. Additionally, our husband’s family members are also supporting us and they love us as if we were their children. I would say that a polygamous relationship is the most fulfilling for women, as it provides a deep understanding of oneself.

Can you describe any moments of joy or fulfilment you’ve experienced in your polygamous marriage?

I find joy in every moment spent with my fellow wives and our husband, but the day of our marriage holds a special place in my heart. It felt as if God lifted me, making it the happiest day of my life. Furthermore, I find more happiness in my husband’s house than I did in my parents’ house.

How do you handle feelings of jealousy or insecurity that may arise within the relationship?

We do not experience jealousy among ourselves; instead, we see each other as part of a trio. Our husband is diligent in his responsibilities and communicates openly about anything that can potentially cause jealousy.

What support systems do you rely on to navigate the complexities of your marriage?

We believe that conflicts are unlikely to arise in our relationship, but if they do, I will rely on my faith in God for guidance and resolution.

How do you handle any concerns or conflicts that may arise among the wives or with your husband?

We have not experienced conflicts among us as we all understand our boundaries and expectations. We are mindful not to engage in behaviours that can lead to conflict, as it is something our husband will not approve of. This approach helps us prevent misunderstandings and conflicts from arising in the first place.

Have you faced any societal stigma or discrimination due to your polygamous marriage?

No, I have not experienced any such stigma or discrimination. We are well-loved by everyone around us.

What advice would you offer to individuals considering entering into polygamous marriages?

Ladies should embrace any man they believe will provide them with the happiness they deserve, even if he has multiple wives as long as they find joy and fulfilment in the relationship. I always advise my sister to seek a man who will bring her happiness and to conduct herself responsibly and respectfully toward others.

Looking ahead, what are your hopes and aspirations for your relationship with your husband and the other wives?

I envision us becoming a large, close-knit family. I hope to see our children as professionals, such as doctors, lawyers, police officers, and soldiers.